I never knew how to feel.
I never knew what I was going to do.
I was going through a very rough patch.
The only way I could describe it was just, “I’m going to get through this.”
But I knew I had to go back to school and I had a lot of help from my friends.
I would go back, just like everybody else, and I would tell my mom about what happened.
She would say, “You’re the one who made me think.”
That’s how I felt.
I didn’t know what to do about it.
My life was ruined.
I got on the subway in New York and I was like, “This is not going to work.”
I had no idea what to say.
I went to a couple of therapy sessions, and it took a couple days for me to realize, “Wow, I don’t want to do this anymore.
That was the last time I ever did it.
I’ve never done it again.
I have a lot more to learn about myself.
It was like a drug, a lot harder to get off.
I think it was easier for me than for anybody else.
I was very vulnerable.
It was like getting off a heroin.
You’re so in pain.
You can’t feel anything.
It’s like, This is so hard.
I could feel my life slipping away.
I couldn’t sleep.
I had panic attacks.
I wasn’t able to concentrate.
The next day I was so depressed.
I went to my therapist and he was like [laughs], “What do you think about the situation?
What do you want to change?”
It was so difficult.
I can’t even say how much that was affecting my life.
It definitely was.
The one thing I’ve learned is that the way I’m dealing with it is to have a sense of humor about it, to say it’s okay.
Because it is a part of me.
I still feel it, and the fact that I have to be in the situation where I have that, it’s a very good thing.
I wish I could say that I would’ve changed my behavior, but I wasn